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PDP 2

Posted by S.N on April 19, 2018 at 8:25 PM Comments comments (0)

January 18, 2018

ABAYA

Because I have experienced unfortunate situations with black, and it is just from my personal point of view, which does not voice others who wear the same clothes that I wear –abaya. I am thinking that I should steer the direction of my project. Create a fictionalized civilization that is based on my experiences. By that, I could create things that looks ancient in style but representing my story through art.

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January 26, 2018

To create the civilization, I need to find more instances where colours are used in my actual society, to form a cohesive civilization and art projects. I need to minimize my colour choices, in-order to form a solid idea.


I should research more about colour in un common circumstances? And if I did? Will it help bring forth my thoughts?

Question: how can I present work that would exemplify, illustrate and embody my practice?

Problem:

How to create objects that would speak a story of the present time, but very much looks like from an ancient period?


Idea: Museum like final exhibition!

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January 28, 2018

The traditional black abaya that women wear in most Arab countries and especially in the Arabian Gulf state, has changed tremendously to follow the latest fashion. But is the change from plain black to embellished fabrics to variety of colour is really about fashion? The traditional black plain abaya started to associate with less qualities such as less income, extremism, terrorism and old-fashioned. Is it really because the colour black has been used for a long time that it is considered old, or is it because black has been associated with controversies? Whatever is the reason, how can we detach black from such negativity?


Just a thought:

The traditional Islamic abaya carries its meaning and reason with it- which is to conceal. Black is to conceal? Is it the reason that it is made in black?

 

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February 16, 2018 

I am having problem building the world of the ancient civilization. Starting a fiction world with lots of writing began to frustrate me, the style and the genre of the book that I have to write is becoming an impossible task. I know my writing skills very well, and writing academic papers are much easier than attempting to write a fiction.

I need to keep in mind while trying to create this world I should not forget how to present my art. Or maybe because I am so hyped about the exhibition that I know what I wish to present, that I am doing all of this backwards. I don’t have a world but I do have an end result of an art project coming to mind. And I don’t have a solid content to bring forth my concerns, the actual study!

An idea:

Why not write a book with a mix of both academic research and fiction?

I could add the short stories after the end of each chapter as reading choice, and an extra

reading to help my practice bring forth its ideas.


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February 22, 2018

Colours have evolved from not being used to conveniently convey an information, a tool; to its own master.

The society and colours relationship. Quality and quantity

Colours have lost their meaning due to societies’ influence. As the time changes what determines the cost of colour. Initially the harder it is to acquire a certain colour the expensive it is. Nowadays thanks to chemistry, colour ranges are widely accessible to the public. So what determines it quality, the execution? What if the execution is unified, and exactly the same everywhere what determines quality at this point? What factors in with the colour? How did colour change to be the deciding factor again when colours are no longer hard to acquire? The colour became its own master when society started to shape each colour and label it with social construction.

The Alchemy of Paint | Spike Bucklow

- On p.173 we come to gold, and from that point the narrative becomes totally compelling. Bucklow argues cogently that the value we still attach to gold is based not on rarity or even beauty, but on the property, appreciated in the centuries of faiths, or indestructibility. It cannot be destroyed by fire or by liquids. It has been endlessly recycled. It is the nearest thing on this earth to immortality. P.13 

- yet, the reason that these colour associations exist is simple – they are created by a very small number of people in an attempt to persuade a very large number of people to buy one particular product rather than another that is more-or-less equivalent. If- by luck or by judgment- they are successful, then the colour association endures until the product is re-branded or falls from favour. P20

- However, colour can only be used in an arbitrary fashion when existing colour association are absent or weak. Are there relatively few green cars, for example, because green is still an ‘unlucky’ colour? And is green unlucky because a 19th century green was made from arsenic, poisoning thousands, allegedly including Napoleon? Such questions remain open and colour associations keep changing; green, for example, now also signifies ‘ecological’. The associations that exist for particular colours are too fluid and often too personal to have a recognized place in the rigid and impersonal modern world, where they are instead dismissed as subjective or unreliable if not outright frivolous. Unless it helps shift a product or has a tangible purpose, controlling traffic for example, colour is treated as if it really doesn’t matter. (read till the end of the page22). P.20-21

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Feb27. 2018

Experiment: photography

Same amount of fabric on a person. But worn differently. One loosely, one tied and some styled differently. Does it change the perceptions of people? Does it affect the social construction? Does the fabric change the perception, or is it the colour on the fabric?

Understanding the mechanics of colour. In my head I can’t help but visualize colours in physical form, and that us as societies we are harnessing colours to have sharp edges. We are handing it power, until it stops feeding from us and controls us completely.

Colours and design are weaved so finely that it is hard to find the fine line that determines which and which provokes judgment, or embarks mental status.


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March 2, 2018

Short Sad Update:

I have been writing the “short story”. And after reading it a few days later, I just want the ground to swallow me. I am not aborting the fiction attempt.

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March 12, 2018

Giving colors form:

Generally, when we think of colors in their most original form, we think of them as a liquid matter found in tubes or cans, or solid matter like pans. Basically we think of them a physical substance contained in a container.


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March 14, 2018

Understanding the qualities of colour within a social context.

Students whom have taken classes in art or colour theory might have come across some studies indicating some non-colours such as black and white. (research). But to a consumer it can go both ways, colours can be defined as hues other than black, white, and gray. And it can be defined as every shade, hue and pigment is considered a colour.

The definition varies. To some colours are bright and playful, hence, black and white and gray are not colours. And to others black, white and gray are their favorite colour, practical or just simply a colour as any other colour available in modern palette. But what intrigues me is how colour is defined far from scientific and laboratory studies. How such term formed around colours, scary, mysterious, uplifting became the secondary quality of colours.

Do colours have a dimension? Physical dimension and social dimension? Or do they have qualities?

How do I embody colour? How do I define it?







March 15, 2018

Colours

What is a colour? How did we come up with such a term? And how do we perceive it?

Summarizing the world of colours into three main questions helps in a way to understand the idea of colour

To a child a colour could be physical objects crayons, a colorful wooden building blocks or shades of the rainbow on papers and toys. To medieval artist colour is the shade they extract from earth and the process that it takes to perfect a shade for paintings. To modern artist. It’s the brand of colour that comes readily in tubes, pans or whatever matter that helps create art in which ever form. To a fashion designer, colour is the texture and tones of the fabric. To a non-artist person, it could be many things, it could be the materials that are used for painting and colouring such as markers, tubes of paint, shades of nail polishes or even a pantone brochure for walls. On and on I could go and try to define the idea of colours from different perspectives. But I could never get it right, for I could be faced with an artist saying that colours are texture and substance of the paint, or by a person that disagrees that certain colours are not really colours such as black and white. To every person, colours have their own definition, to every individual the idea of colours is formed individually; it is their own understanding of the term colour. But we all share the idea of colour.

There is no such thing as colour. Colour is an idea that we humans use to label what we see such as (wavelengths). Colour could have various definition. (Victoria Finlay quote).

So what is colour?

To study colour is to look through the core of its substance, history and origin. But my simple desire of colours is purely visual, representational and only within the borders of a social construction. Far from alchemy and physic theories and studies, I seek to understand colour in a more intangible way, the idea of colour and its forms from the perspective of seeing eyes. This is the direction I would like to explore towards researching about colours.

My research about colour is walking on a shaky ground. I try to solidify it with supporting books and articles but I couldn’t find one that speaks my faraway thoughts. As hard as it is to find support that voices my new found concerns about colours I will thrive to present valid arguments, assumptions and theories. And maybe there are books and articles that discusses my questions but the naming and defining the issue of colour might be different, or maybe the word colour is not part of their titles, like how colour can mean many things to different individuals because colour is an idea.

Just because I haven’t found the perfect book that speaks my thoughts it doesn’t mean that many other books haven’t been enlightening me about colours. In order to understand the dimensions of colour and whether it consists of certain dynamics (change) that can influence society, we need to retrace back to its origin and history. We need to understand what colour was to people and what story it carries. We need to go back to earliest building block of colour within society.

I believe that colours within a social construction are like bricks of a historical monumental castle. We see it exist in our modern time, renovate it when necessary, add to it and use it however means the time and space it serves us. Each and every brick is different it goes through many changes, the substance, the making and change by nature. The first blocks were made with more work than the later bricks, with the cultural evolution, life has changed and materials or machinery are designed to assist builders. Colours are the same, the extraction of it and its origin has its own story. (refine this section)

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March 20, 2018

HOW TO UTILIZE COLORS

Problem:

Colors are not solely colors unless they are given the right to see them for what they truly are.

Certain color means some kind of religion and the other means you’re liberal, some colors means you’re otherling and some means you are mundane.

To use colors in life you consider the type, quantity and impact of it. Colors alone are harmless, but on people they are very effective. They have more meanings than a room with colored wall. 

A chair is just a chair. But it’s a weapon once it has been swung against you. So are colours.

Colors are no longer a set of hues that we choose mindlessly, but are solidly morphing into ideas, concepts and interpretations.


Question:

-How did colors change from being just a harmless color or just a colors into concepts and opinions.

Colorful video.


Going back to the video (Korean boy band). The use of colors is evident. The blast of colors using light and fashion to demonstrate an idea or back an idea resulted curiosity.

The first question I asked myself is: why the use of so much color? Isn’t distracting? Will my reaction be the same as others? And what would they think of this colorful visual?

Some felt it was too much? Some felt it bringing back a certain style? Some felt it was interesting.

The whole combination of singers, stage, visuals and sound evoked thoughts. At least your mind formed an opinion. Which is our default reaction.

 

In any way, the boy band’s team probably had a definite agenda, it’s definitely a no brainer that they wanted the group to stand out, and are very much aware that they will be critiqued and subjected to social media.

The agenda might include setting a new trend and giving them more spotlight of interest? so colors are utilized in a way to set trend, and the main influencers were the celebrities. –whom are the visuals.

-practicality is monochromatic looks.

A LOT OF CELEBRITIES ARE UTILIZING COLORS TO DEFINE THEMSELVES AND THEIR WORK. THEREFORE, WE SEE THEM SETTING TRENDS.

Other examples where celebrities are utilizing their fame to monopolize colors by defining themselves with qualities such as certain colors.

Kim Kardashian black Hair

Nowadays, celebrity, influencers and social media are salesman of colors.


Argued:

Colors back then, were the salesman masters of themselves. Because they were new. (introduction of pastels and metallic colors) exciting because they are new. What happens when we already created everything in colors, what makes colors, the hues interesting? 

New colors draw interests

The life time of discovering a new color is short. The lifetime of a color on a famous figure is much longer.

Big bird. Smurf. Elmo. Batman. Pink Panther. Winnie the pooh. When describing most people will immediately define them by colors. 

How can colors survive without souls.

Major players on shaping the use of colors is influencers.

How to promote colors as colors!








March 24, 2018

A Beginner’s Guide to Reality | JIM BAGGOT

I got the idea of colours having dimensions while reading Jim Baggot’s book where he questioned reality. Colours could be a world of its own when you begin to question its concept. To a simple person or a passerby, colours are pigments and dyes, chemical and physical matters that are used in our lives. But aren’t colours more than that? I’ve began to question colours at moments of oddness. And in that moment, it became much clearer that colours are no longer dyes and pigments. I believe that colours have several dimensions to it. Like reality, it has social dimension, and a physical dimension. What is the point of dissecting the definition of colours if it’s just a definition? Ro answer that colours are not merely labels that defines shades and tints of whatever must be described. Colours are tools, physical it might be in matters of physical and chemical products, and metaphorical in matters of social context.

The common sense of using colour is to put it in action of relating things together. But colours has been used where it simply had no intention of being related to something or anything. like the telecom company called Orange. In modern days, the simple way of defining colours would be in the sense of choosing the right shade, as simple as that. But history does show us how colours are used differently, for example race. People have been using colours to describe things in a social context, perhaps there is no written language or definite dictionary of colours that defines certain inscriptions.

‘You might be mildly troubles. Perhaps there is a sense in which you feel bound by unwritten laws, constrained by invisible conventions that are quite real to you but which, like liquid mercury, you can’t quite put your finger on.’ P.2

‘just because we can’t see them, they aren’t real. No, these tiny bits of matter are there, all right. Unobservable objects really exist and do have real effects.’ P.3

And just because colours in a social construction isn’t physical, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. 

‘reality is independent of us, our ability to conceive it and form theories about it. Reality is filled with regularities derived from natural cause-and-effect relationships.’

What is the relationship between brain chemistry and mental states? Science| psychology | philosophy research.

‘exposure to a lifetime’s experience of physical and emotional conditions is necessary birth to shape the patterns of neuronal connections in the brain and to define self.’ P.7

Is colour connected with self?

Foresight? And colour? Relationship?

When we lose the sense of seeing colour at its richness does that impair the mind from social construction? Or is it the same?

Do we wear colour? Or does colour wear us?

What determines the persons exterior? Is it the colour of the fabric or the fabric itself? 

P.34

‘we take whatever physical object we can find or make and assign it a social function…… as a result of being assigned a social function, these physical objects gain a certain status in society.’

*Where is the word colour derived from? Research the etymology of colours in different countries.

When you think of colour what comes to your mind? What do you visually see when some wants you to visualize a colour within seconds. 

Questions Upon Questions | AKA more research

Posted by S.N on January 18, 2018 at 6:00 AM Comments comments (55)

Just a few more questions to help me with my research about black



The origins of Black findings (THINGS/LIVINIGS/Concepts):


- Black eyeliner. How it was made back then? ‘Why was it uses? Protection’, how did black liners changed from protection to beauty? Interpretation of black liners? When did we first start to have coloured liners? What are the difference between black and coloured liners in interpretations?

- Black and white movies | it started because people had no choice to watch it in colour because it did not exist yet, but when it did and it became a choice, why do people still watch black and white movies? Do black and white movies represent something? Does its representation affect the meaning of black? Did it add a new name to black?

- Black and white photography | same questions as films.

- Tattoos? Research if it was originally in black, if not when did black tattoo start? And how is it different from black then, does its change affect black in term of interpretation of black colour?

- Black flags | (piracy/ Islam/ race-pits… find more) why Black? What does it mean? How did mankind come about the usage of black at the time of its invention?

- Black spiders, animals and birds | do they play a role in defining black? | History and culture research.

- Shadow? Is it considered black? What do people think about it? Do they relate it to black?

- Black-figure pottery | history, culture and interpretation. Can I bring back that art by using it for my project?

- Black robes | Why that choice of colour? Are black robes back then being the same as black robes nowadays?

- Black hole/ space?

- Black metal? Guns?

- Black soil.

- Charcoals

- Black Henna

- Black Ink

- Anubis | Black magic | Black art | Black Market | Black Heart | Black Beard (piracy) | find more black concept.

Online Venting/ Diary

Posted by S.N on December 16, 2017 at 7:35 PM Comments comments (0)

Progress report:

I have done so much reading, and I feel it is still not enough to piece my research together. In fact, it’s actually making me go further and further to different subjects and directions. My questions keep piling on. I am going in so deep that it’s getting on my nerves. I am getting frustrated and anxious, the more my mind gets scattered. My research keeps heading to philosophy and psychology, which are hard to understand without someone explaining what I am reading. I swear it’s like not reading English when I get to pages that tries to explain.

And another thing I would like to point out is that my practice seems so serious, so academic. I wanted that at one point, but I still want some fun facts. I don’t know how to move on forwards. I think I’ll just keep exploring more. READING more. I think I should work on my observing skills, see if I could pick up something interesting to make my research interesting and not boringly dull.

S.N

ART PROJECT

Posted by S.N on December 15, 2017 at 4:20 AM Comments comments (0)

Mix media | Title: Art and Colours

Description: When colour has a soul, how would it look like? How is it defined?

I used polymer clay and acrylic paint to convey my vision.


ABSTRACT

Posted by S.N on December 15, 2017 at 4:20 AM Comments comments (0)

SOME NOTES

Posted by S.N on December 15, 2017 at 4:20 AM Comments comments (0)

Survey

Posted by S.N on December 15, 2017 at 2:20 AM Comments comments (0)

Qualia?

Posted by S.N on December 10, 2017 at 10:45 AM Comments comments (0)

Everyone has an opinion about anything. But to have an ineffable feeling while expressing that opinion is something that can be called “Qualia”. -at least that is my understanding of it for now.

My research of the term qualia is very hazy and obscure, probably because it’s like a ghost term that has not yet been 100% validated. I found different definitions for it. But why I chose to consider the term is because of the surface understanding I got from the general definitions and descriptions. 

In recent times, lots of people are being paranoid about seeing men with long beards or women covered in black. Some describes them as Muslims, or terrorists, and some as ISIS, but some experience feelings more than words.


My overall understanding is:

Let us say that fear is a subjective emotion, and that terrorists are always covered in a universal black identifiable uniform. 

Putting a woman covered in black in a public situation like a bus stop, would affect the people around her differently. People’s perception of that woman would be:

1- Just a quick recognition that the person is Muslim.

2- Would have an opinion of the attire.

3- Be Curious. Simply questioning themselves why would a person dress that way.

4- Feel fear that she is part terrorist/ extremist, because that is what they know.

5- Purely got afraid of seeing black in abundance, because subconsciously they related it to danger.

The closest situation of my understanding of qualia is #5. People aren’t generally afraid of black, but sometimes how the black and only black on a person evokes certain feelings. (examples, my presentation of black fabrics in different styles on people).


I feel that I could go further with qualia, but I need to have a greater knowledge background in certain subjects, maybe I will get back to qualia later on. It is really hards for me to grasp it, I need to work on it first before I would be able to connect it with my practice.


My findings on Qualia:

( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qualia" target="_blank">http://https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qualia ;)


Definitions

Saturated colors are a commonly used example of a quale.

There are many definitions of qualia, which have changed over time. One of the simpler, broader definitions is: "The 'what it is like' character of mental states. The way it feels to have mental states such as pain, seeing red, smelling a rose, etc."

Clarence Irving Lewis, in his book Mind and the World Order (1929), was the first to use the term "qualia" in its generally agreed upon modern sense.

There are recognizable qualitative characters of the given, which may be repeated in different experiences, and are thus a sort of universals; I call these "qualia." But although such qualia are universals, in the sense of being recognized from one to another experience, they must be distinguished from the properties of objects. Confusion of these two is characteristic of many historical conceptions, as well as of current essence-theories. The quale is directly intuited, given, and is not the subject of any possible error because it is purely subjective.

Frank Jackson (1982) later defined qualia as "...certain features of the bodily sensations especially, but also of certain perceptual experiences, which no amount of purely physical information includes" (p. 273).

Daniel Dennett identifies four properties that are commonly ascribed to qualia. According to these, qualia are:

1 ineffable; that is, they cannot be communicated, or apprehended by any other means than direct experience.

2 intrinsic; that is, they are non-relational properties, which do not change depending on the experience's relation to other things.

3 private; that is, all interpersonal comparisons of qualia are systematically impossible.

4 directly or immediately apprehensible in consciousness; that is, to experience a quale is to know one experiences a quale, and to know all there is to know about that quale.

If qualia of this sort exist, then a normally sighted person who sees red would be unable to describe the experience of this perception in such a way that a listener who has never experienced color will be able to know everything there is to know about that experience. Though it is possible to make an analogy, such as "red looks hot", or to provide a description of the conditions under which the experience occurs, such as "it's the color you see when light of 700-nm wavelength is directed at you", supporters of this kind of qualia contend that such a description is incapable of providing a complete description of the experience.

Another way of defining qualia is as "raw feels". A raw feel is a perception in and of itself, considered entirely in isolation from any effect it might have on behavior and behavioral disposition. In contrast, a cooked feel is that perception seen as existing in terms of its effects. For example, the perception of the taste of wine is an ineffable, raw feel, while the experience of warmth or bitterness caused by that taste of wine would be a cooked feel. Cooked feels are not qualia.

According to an argument put forth by Saul Kripke in his paper "Identity and Necessity" (1971), one key consequence of the claim that such things as raw feels can be meaningfully discussed—that qualia exist—is that it leads to the logical possibility of two entities exhibiting identical behavior in all ways despite one of them entirely lacking qualia. While very few ever claim that such an entity, called a philosophical zombie, actually exists, the mere possibility is claimed to be sufficient to refute physicalism.

Arguments for the existence[edit]

See also: Hard problem of consciousness

Since it is by definition impossible to convey qualia verbally, it is also impossible to demonstrate them directly in an argument; so a more tangential approach is needed. Arguments for qualia generally come in the form of thought experiments designed to lead one to the conclusion that qualia exist.

MARGIN NOTES 2 | Diary

Posted by S.N on December 9, 2017 at 2:30 PM Comments comments (0)

This is more like a Struggling Niqabi Diaries!


Anyways, I kept forgetting to point out the most important thing I have noticed at the beginning of my research, is the relationship between Niqab and colours.


Traditional Niqab colour and other face covers is ‘Black’. For as long as I can remember the reason I wore colored Niqab was because I wanted to blend in with pedestrians in foreign countries. Basically I was using colours to camouflage myself and not draw attention from a mile away. Fast forwards 6 years later, before coming to Cardiff I was advised to wear only light colours like; white, cream, beige ..etc. and I was strictly told to avoid wearing black Niqab and dark clothes in general. At the time my concern was whether I should pull out my coloured Niqabs out of its designated travel box or take the bold route and just not wear it at all, which will save me lots of hate, weird and frightened looks.


While thinking of a subject word instead of the word “body” as our second exercise I can’t stop thinking about why I don’t have liberty (self-freedom) – coming to Cardiff not wearing the Niqab triggered me to think that way. I kept thinking I am not what I want to be in all kinds of situation. Thus, my mind kept saying; you are restricted. Immediately I thought of the word “liberty” and how it doesn’t actually exist. I was going for;

‘There is no such thing as liberty because we are all abiding some kind of rules and regulation, like country law, work, parents, society, school…etc’

I did all my research and went as far as explaining that even objects have no liberty. Like how objects change due to chemical and natural cycles. Example; the Statue of Liberty wasn’t always in that unique shade of green, but originally it was copper!

 

Further research led me to ‘Visual Culture’ and then to ‘Colours’. Those two key words hit me really hard. I felt I was close and just needed to connect the dots between the two and have that eureka moment. And I did have that moment when I was struggling with which head-cover (Hijab) I should wear that day and Immediately remembered my collection of colorful Niqab. They were not mere colours of fabric but some sort of social conception. Slowly I recalled every interaction I had that puzzled me, good and bad.

And it seemed like colours were the perfect subject to do a full research on, by looking at it with a different angle and taking a different approach. 

People from my home town, thought wearing dark colours were scary colours, and I didn’t really comprehend why, nor did I questioned it at the time. But now it did intrigue me. And because I questioned why society thought dark colours are scary colours, I was able to form or have a base to take the first clear direction in my research - why certain colours are not seen as colours by society, and that they are no longer seen as colorants but adjectives.


Questions:

- Why is Black seen as a dangerous Colour?

- How do I see colours?

- What is the most questionable color?

- When is Black Okay?

- How much of black can you use?

- When is white not too white?

- What are societies understanding of colours?


How do I define Colour?

Colour is a body of shapes, lines and whatever means that defines matters.



More thoughts:

Basically colours can take the form of shapes but not vice versa. Colours are fillers.


MARGIN NOTES | Diary

Posted by S.N on November 18, 2017 at 6:35 PM Comments comments (0)

November 18. 2017

Today I fully realized why I am still wearing the niqab (Face Cover) I Began wearing it my senior year (21 years old) for a religious purpose. I believe that being covered includes not only dressing modestly and covering your hair, but as well as your face, because it can attract attention. Whether you really believe you have an attractive face or not. I believed wearing it is an essential part of the whole meaning of covering.

I felt so much comfortable that after a few years my original reason slowly changed into this different dangerous territory. Mind-set wise it became from religious reason to mental and psychological peace of hiding my true identity from a racist society. Where being half Asian is a Taboo- (CULTURAL STORY). I slowly forgot why I wanted to wear it. The urge of it changed totally, even though my mind is set on why I chose to wear it; I still believe in my past thought.

But I have changed because of society again- I do not deny that society/media affects me. Now I like wearing it because I am hidden from their personal thoughts on me. Also, I am truly limited on what I can do because I don’t like to be in so much contrast with how I look.

Apparently I am not strong minded about my own thoughts and myself. And I am limited because I don’t want to be subjected to societies thoughts.


I came to Cardiff with that thought where being face covered will totally limit me again, so I didn’t wear it. But I discovered that Cardiff is not as bad as I painted it to be. So I can wear it back again-the niqab, right? but I didn’t! because I like how liberating it is to think I am capable of doing what I want to do without the restriction of my mind.

It is all in my head that I would look wrong and weird and out of place doing what others do while having my face covered; because I’ll be seen, talked about and worst documented and laughed at. And again, the majority of people don’t see face covered people doing normal things like ice skating and dancing.


I know that I am not courageous at all. because I still can’t do everything that I want to do whilst wearing the niqab in front of people. I still care what others think about me even if I keep saying I don’t care what others think of me in other aspects of my life. I feel that the term “face covered” is coined with the religious understanding that life activities isn’t important so you won’t see covered people having fun but only practicing religion. So certain things I like to do might offend the religious covered women, like being in an anime convention.


But why being covered means you are very religious? What made people think that.

I certainly don’t think that at all at this point, but then again, it is only proof that people have different thoughts about everything in life. My question is: Do I still want to wear it? I know I wore it with determination, but I also know I am always pumped with adrenalin and think I can defy people but afterwards I start to have second thoughts. And in my case: the second thoughts started after 6 years of wearing the niqab!

So what made me really change? Wanting to do what I want –which isn’t normally done by women with face cover? Wanting to blend in with other people? Or I just simply don’t want to wear it anymore?


I do remember at some point I was proud of wearing the niqab and defying people’s expectation of what women of face cover can’t do, but then it came to a point where I not only lost interest but confidence and vision.

The most confusing part is; I do want to wear it on only in Kuwait Malls! The sad part of it means that I don’t like people to judge me by my ethnicity, which is horrible because I am truly proud of who I am just not really ready to be subjected to bullies and racists. Which sums up that I am weak and that I am not wearing it anymore for a religious reason.

My concern for a while has been, how can I thrive successfully without having my face shown. I love make up and fashion, art and books. But in business you always need a face that can communicate with people. You need the Face that people are curious to see.


Why is success and moving towards it requires a face a representation?

Almost every successful business is thriving due to influencers and celebrities- well except the business in books and art.

How can I thrive while hiding my face, which is part of my identity?


My project:

There is no such thing as black and white color, what are are colors?


Colors are like the niqab in a way. Certain color means some kind of religion and the other means you’re liberal or normal, some colors means you’re otherling and some means you are mundane.

To use colors in life you consider the type, quantity and impact of it. Colors alone are harmless, but on people they are very effective.


How did the color change from being just a harmless color with some sort of an opinion to a whole idea and a controversial topic? How can colors be that much of an influence nowadays and how can we morph it to our use deign-wise in the future, how can we keep colors alive, when they are dying because they have to be linked to souls in order to have definition.

Colors are not solely colors unless they are given the right to see them for what they truly are.


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